Yesterday I probably had the longest ever conversation over phone with a very special friend. We almost spoke of everything under the sun....ranging from work to our college life, our present lives..and our future...and yet it seemed like this could easily go on for a few more hours with absolutely no dearth of topics to discuss.
To be honest, I was wishing this call never ends. It was after really long time that I was feeling extremely powerful mentally and open to speaking my heart out. It seemed like everything was just falling into place by itself and this talk was making all that come to the fore. Probably the person on the other end didn't even realize what it all meant to me...but such is the power of conversation I guess...it just does the right thing, for the right person at the right time. And certain people are just needed to get this going and perhaps the friend was needed for this to happen.
After I put the phone down, there was a sudden lull in my mind...a realization that a lot of this may not really be possible in a month's time. Living alone in a foreign land suddenly didn't seem all that easy. It is going to mean a lot of things being left behind...some may still stay...a lot may be lost. However, I need to take this hard call soon for sure. Thus went the 7th hour...thinking of what next to do...the night was silent and seemed like no one was really listening to my thoughts...it was more like a dialogue between my mind and my heart; each having its story to tell..
Pondering over the past few years of my life and looking at what future has in store for me, the turmoil of thoughts continued into the 8th hour. They were no longer rational thoughts...most of the arguments my mind was posing seemed baseless...so finally decided to put an end and try to get some sleep. However, my thoughts went back to the phone talk and how it had suddenly changed a lot of what I was thinking. Those 6 hours made a huge impact...and as I woke up this morning...continued to stay in my mind. Surely it was not just the talk, but more importantly the person that made this happen. I began to realize as well how much this friend meant to me and how things would suddenly change in a few days.
Of course, even now I have not come to decide what I want to do next...what my decision would be...maybe in a worse situation than before for deciding this...but I am glad that "those six hours" really brought to light what relationships really mean to me and how i need to cherish them and never let go. Decisions in life need not always be driven by rationale...most of them end up being driven by emotion(so has been my case always) and this conversation just reiterated that for me. Perhaps I may still decide to go, but now with more awareness and a greater ability to value what I have with me.
This post goes as a dedication to this special friend who helped me to come to this realization.
A few words that come to my mind now...for all those who have always stood by me at all times...
"I never know what the future brings, but I know you're here with me now
I'll make it through and, I hope you are the ones I share my life with"